The chronicle of the church

The story begins on a bright and sunny Sunday morning. It was the second week in my new ward, and we had completed the sacrament meeting and our Sunday school meeting. Now, all of the men in the ward were gathered for priesthood. The bishop was speaking about what we should and shouldn't do in our new relationships with girls(I didn't, and still don't currently have one of them, but apparently this was something we needed to know). Anyway, he began a speech about kissing, after his speal about pornography and other serious issues. The good bishop then went on to explain that when we kissed a girl, it should last no longer than three Mississippis. An idea came to my mind. A wonderful, terrible little idea(note the grinchy saying). I have had several ideas such as this, and I can never keep them to myself, because it would deprive others of seeing these awesome ideas(Those who know the way my mind works are probably already laughing, or cringing if you're my mom).He asked us if we had any questions. A few were asked and a few were answered. I did not recieve a chance to launch my plan into action at this point, so I sat quietly and awaited the moment. I knew it would come. The bishop stepped back up on his soapbox, and continued his lesson, while I sat here smiling, ever waiting. Then I spotted it... the moment I had been waiting for. The room was dead silence after the serious commentary provided by the bishop My hand went up in a flash and was soon noticed by the bishop. He called on me and I asked my question as meekly as I could, no smile whatsoever on my face..." So, how long do theMississippis have to be? It was like the roar of a tital wave as laughter erupted from the room. There wasn't a dry eye in the whole place. People were rolling down the aisles, even the once serious bishop and counselors. I'm sure the other wards wondered what in the world could have occured to induce such a noise. I didn't wonder however. These ideas never fail me. I recieved many backslaps, high fives, and "knucks following the meeting, and secured my place as the funny guy, as well as the most known person in the ward( the ladies were informed as fast as people could tell the story). And that's about all I got to say about that. So, in the famous words of Kip Dynamite, "peace out!"