Saturday, March 23, 2013

coniving at Krispy Kreme

Does the Holy Ghost stay out past midnight?  Probably not. 

Do college students stay up past midnight? Most definitely.

This does not necessarily mean, however, that we are up to no good in the wee hours of the morning.  At least that's what we tell ourselves. 

Last night (and this morning)was one of those nights that will go down in history as one of those  nights that we stayed up far too late (or early, depending on how you look at it), and became one of my hilarious tales.  Thus, it must be chronicled.

The fun began right after improv comedy practice (ironic, I know), when my friend Neil told me about the flowers that the floral arrangement class just threw away because they were unused.

"Unacceptable", thought I, "there are girls dying out there to receive just one flower, and all these beautiful creations of God are going to waste (the flowers, not the girls).   So, we went to the place and pilferedlot, distributing them among the many deserving girls in my ward, who were surprised and delighted, just as I had thought they would be.  But that was only the beginning.

    We were on a "save the refuse" kick, and thus decided that Krispy Kreme's unused doughnuts that were just thrown away willy-nilly every night were going to be used this day, or, rather, the next.  We discovered through an internet source that it closed at 11 P.M., so we decided that we'd take a short nap and give them time to clean up and toss the doughnuts, and then we'd make our move.  So, we showed up at 1:30, ready for an midnight snack.  This plan was foiled (or so Neil thought) by a truck driver who saw us looking in a dumpster (which did not hold the goods) who told us that he "could not tell us that we could procure the doughnuts after thrown out", even though they were not going to be used! 

Neil and I walked dejectedly back to my car, whereon I convinced him that it was just his job to tell us these things, so we would go hide out in a parking lot at the nearby motel, and wait out these people.  After a short nap, we returned and went into "stealth mode", which means I turned off the car's headlights, and proceeded to approach the spot.  As we crested the hill, we viewed employees dumping the goods! I quickly turned out of the way, and after giving them a few minutes to accomplish their dirty deed, came back to finish what we'd started. 

Neil jumped out of the passenger's side, grabbed a gigantic bag of loot, and stowed it in the trunk.  That's when we made our getaway, giggling and bantering back and forth about how we'd beat the system. 

Upon our return to my apartment, we spread out the manna to find out what the damage was.  164 doughnuts! For those of you who struggle with math, that's over 13 dozen dougnuts...a whole lot of dough (pun intended). 

After gourging ourselves, Neil took a share of the doughnuts, and we parted ways, tired, but overjoyed.  The rest go to me for the Man party my Elder's quorum is putting on tonight, as well as a date I'm going on tomorrow to feed the ducks.  Can a man hit three birds with one stone? Cause I'm pretty sure I did...hunger, party food, and a date idea all satiated by one act!

And that, my posterity, is how I outsmarted the Krispy Kreme man ad his posse of doughnut-hoarding fiends! 

The getaway

 The goods

1 comment:

Neil said...

Truly, a night to be remembered in perpetuity.